Though you may not have the chance to read this before you go, I need to write it.
Before you were born, from the day I knew I was pregnant with you, you belonged to the Lord. You were the fulfillment of His promise to me when I struggled with years of infertility and He gave me Psalm 37:7 to hold onto, knowing that one day, someday, somehow, despite the doctor’s solemnly telling us that we were in the 10% who would probably never conceive, it would happen. And it did.
Before you were born, before we knew you were a boy, we named you Sam. I can’t imagine you by any other name. We talked to you so much during my pregnancy that when your name was called after being born you turned your little face toward us. I can’t explain the joy of seeing your face then, and the even greater joy of when I see your face now. I called you my Heart Beat and I still do.
I can’t imagine, my Sam, what it’s like to leave your family at such a young age and go to face what you will be facing. I know you’ve been trained for this. I know you are smart, and wise beyond your years. I know you are as prepared as anyone could be. I also know that you are my baby boy, my son all grown up, my hero. Even so, my fears intrude; no parent wishes their son, or daughter, to go to that place of terror and uncertainty. Yet, my brave warrior, you go. And I am so proud of you for the man you are, the choices you make, and your good heart. Your compassion, sense of justice, and discernment amaze me. God definitely has a purpose for you, Sam. And He knows His plans for you. And they are good.
I am lifting you in prayer moment by moment, day by day, week by week, month by month. There will be times I will have no words but God will hear my mother’s heart. And because He is our Lord, He will answer, He will be beside you, He will hold you through it all, and He will bring you safely home.
I love you, my HB, with all of my heart. God keeps you in His care, my Sam, as only He can. And He commands His angels to guard you…
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. 4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. 5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. 7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. 8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. 9 If you make the Most High your dwelling– even the LORD, who is my refuge– 10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. 11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; 12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. 14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
This is powerful. Your words make me feel what you are feeling as you write this…well done.ib