Wish I hadn’t done that

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On a whim several weeks ago I painted this because 1) I love to paint, and 2) I wanted something to cover the gaping fireplace opening since my cats seem to think that fireplace and litter box have the same meaning on occasion.  Yes, bad cats!

Anyway, I did this and it was a happy thing because 1) I found a board, unused, that fit the exact area, and 2) the cats could no longer get into the fireplace, and 3) I love the ocean…or, to be really specific, being near the ocean as opposed to in or on it.  I thought I was going to have a heart attack watching The Abyss years ago, Jaws still haunts me,  and being seasick on Lake Powell one time (yes, on a lake!) sort of ended any desire that was really never there anyway of sailing the ocean blue.  Watching it, hearing it, smelling it, touching the edges, and enjoying everything else about it, however, is something I love.  Thus, my quickie version of the ocean to lighten and brighten the room and serve aforementioned purposes.

Last week I got a bugaboo about it and painted over it.

Sob.

Not the same…which means I’ll have to paint over it again until I get it right and now we’re into something entirely not fun anymore because now it involves work and now it involves making corrections and, really, that’s just not as much fun.

Regrets are like that, though.  They result from doing something you wish you hadn’t done in the first place because if you hadn’t done it in the first place, well…

Regrets can also be because of something you wish you’d done and didn’t.  A whole ‘nother can of worms, as my Granny would say.

But since I’m talking about what I wish I hadn’t done, I thought of a few more wish I hadn’ts.

Wish I hadn’t said yes to so many cats…Miss Missy!

Wish I hadn’t gained back some of what I lost.

Wish I hadn’t said no to starting back to college four years ago…I’d be done by now if I had said yes.

Wish I hadn’t stopped writing for so long.

Wish I hadn’t stopped following my dreams.

Wish I hadn’t lost touch with so many people through the years.

Wish I hadn’t made as many mistakes through the years.

Wish I hadn’t forgotten how to just have fun and be myself.

I may be an old dog, er, cat, but still learning new tricks, still learning new ways to bless and be blessed.  God is good like that.  As long as we listen, He speaks, teaches, touches and brings joy, beauty, even from the ashes of our regrets.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.

Isaiah 61:1-3 (NIV)

 

Safety Wire

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I watched a demonstration of putting this safety wire through bolts to keep them from slipping or loosening during vibration.  It was really cool to see the funky pliers that I’m sure have an actual name do their work of twisting this thick wire together to strengthen its purpose.  These bolts go on airplanes and that’s not something we want to come loose a thousand feet up in the air.  Falling parts just don’t work for me.  I was fascinated by how hard it was to try to twist the thick wire by hand yet this tool did the trick in no time.  The students who were learning the art of this safety wiring were practicing again and again, cutting and puncturing their fingers again and again.  They were critiquing their work and coaching one another, cutting out what was bad and starting over from scratch.  There was a method that had to be followed to do it properly and they memorized it.  Their persistence to get it right and tight was dogged; there wasn’t another option.  It was either right and tight or wrong. No kinks and no extra wire.  No missing a step of the method.  They knew what they did made a future difference – safe or not safe.  Life or maybe not life.

As I watched I thought about the times in life that I wish I had been that dogged and persistent.  Times I wished I had realized that to keep on twisting a kinked wire weakened it. Times that I skipped a step and hoped it didn’t matter.  I didn’t make sure the bolts were tight and in the vibrations of life, they loosened.  A thousand feet up and out they came…and parts started falling.

As I thought of these things I also thought about how even though I hadn’t done my bit as well as I should, God did His.  He stretched out His arms and opened His hands to catch those falling parts, loose bolts, wires and all.

Safety.

Amazing to me how people can go through this life with all the bangs and falls and not turn to the Lord.  He’s there, patient, waiting, ready…with outstretched arms and open hands.  Nail scarred hands.  Hands that did no wrong but took the fall for us all.  That’s a wow in my book.  And because that’s such a huge wow, it makes me sad to think of those who reject His gift.  And it makes me wonder why, why is it so hard for some to give their hearts to God?

I think the why is because we don’t want to accept that someone is sovereign over our lives,  that there is someone greater that we cannot control, that we can’t shape and mold to our own way of thinking, that we can’t influence and we can’t charm to get our own way.  God comes with boundaries and clear lines drawn in the sand and I think we feel that when we accept God we will feel compelled to bend and change our thoughts and actions, that we lose who we are, that we lose control over our own lives.  Flash – we don’t have it anyway.  We can make decisions and choices and try to control our own destiny but when it comes right down to it, we are at the mercy of things outside our scope of influence all the time.

Being a Christian doesn’t mean perfection or rose-strewn paths; there is hardship in our lives and pain and grief and sorrow and mistakes and mess ups.  We’re human. Being a Christian isn’t about rituals and rules, either; it’s about a relationship between God and the believer, a relationship based on faith, a relationship based on trust and love.  And it means when we haven’t tied the wire right, when we’ve let the bolts fly off, that His Word grounds us, His voice whispers words of forgiveness and hope, His peace fills our heart, His strength holds us up, His comfort never leaves us, and His hands catch us again and again when we fall.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

The People That You Meet Traveling

 

We’ve all had nightmare travel experiences, right?  Ours started on December 25th when our American Airlines flight landed in Dallas to the sight of snowflakes dropping from a low, gray sky.  Great piloting!  Kevin, our jolly Flight Attendant who had the best of humor even when one lavatory became inoperable and everyone chose that moment to have to go and when one mom set a really bad example for her kids, serenaded us with White Christmas as we waited 45 minutes on the tarmac for a gate to be made available to us.  The flight crew were positive and upbeat through it all, giving us no indication that we had landed into a mess, but when we left the plane and joined the zillion people already running around like crazy we started to get the idea that something just wasn’t going well.

We landed in terminal A but our connection to Montgomery which was scheduled to leave in about 20 minutes was in terminal B.  We raced with the crowd to the Sky Link but an airport employee blocked us from getting on and said it was now closed, shut down.  Everyone started asking the same question – how do we find terminal B?  C?  D?  No one seemed to know and as airport employees walked by we would ask and be ignored.  We finally joined the group that wanted terminal B and began the race that led to Hannah falling going up on the escalator, gashing her knee and ripping her jeans. When we finally found our gate we discovered others looking harassed and waiting including what we assumed would be our flight crew who talked openly about their doubts of this flight going out.  The departure board was showing CANCELLED on many flights already and after three times of being told the flight was delayed, we were then told it was cancelled so we all lined up to re-book on other outgoing flights.  Confusion as to what to do was shadowed only by the frustration over the length of time it took each customer to re-book.   A pleasant young woman worked patiently with everyone until it was our turn and then a young man with a decidedly different attitude took her place.  I was told we were re-booked for the following day at 8:30 p.m., 28 hours later.  Are you serious?  After asking about flights to other destinations that would get me near where we were actually going, I settled on the flight to Birmingham leaving at 8:30 p.m. that night.  It was leaving from terminal A and Hannah’s leg was aching.   Hmm.

I requested a cart to drive us over and while waiting for a cart a young woman and her son had a bit of a meltdown when she begged someone to tell her how to get to terminal C.  There seemed to be few airport employees who would give directions and many people were wandering around looking for that information.  Eventually a nice cart driver who wasn’t going our way took pity on us and we enjoyed being driven to the yells of “Scuse!  Cart!”  “Scuse!  Cart!” to warn people to move out of the cart’s way.  We were deposited with Tanya, a wonderful employee who shared that she was spending Christmas at work because she had nothing else to do.  She was so warm and grandmotherly that we wanted to bring her home with us.  Our cart driver had taken us under his wing and called for another cart driver to get us to the right terminal and we then enjoyed his stories and yells of “Scuse! Cart!” as we finished what he said was a two mile trip.  Hannah said no wonder her legs hurt since we had just raced two miles earlier!

We joined the anxious group waiting for the Birmingham flight and the desk agent kept us informed about delays.  At about 9:30 we were told a plane was landing and we would have  exactly 20 minutes to board and take off so the crew wouldn’t go illegal and the flight cancelled.  Happy people quickly boarded, stowed baggage and buckled in, and true to their word we zipped straight up into the rain and sleet and possibly snow for a turbulent but wonderful ride to Birmingham. Another awesome job of piloting the plane!  Loved the straight up take off!  The tired flight crew who had been going at it all day remained cheerful and upbeat as they saw everyone off the plane.

It was in Birmingham that we discovered our luggage wasn’t with us and when Robin, the American Airline employee, scanned our luggage bar code it didn’t show up anywhere.  She assured us it would be found, gave us information to file a claim, and told us to check to see if it came in the next day.  We then went outside to be robbed by a taxi cab driver who charged us ten dollars to go 1/2 mile down the road to a hotel.  It was cold, wet and we were drooping with exhaustion by then so we paid and tipped him anyway…Merry Christmas.  We were thankful to not be with the thousand people who were stuck at the DFW airport.

The next morning it was decided that my mom, who had driven with my nephew to Montgomery the day before to get us and then gone back home, would come to Birmingham now to get us…a much longer drive.  To make it easier on her, we needed to get away from the airport and closer to the I-65, south side of Birmingham.  Before figuring that out, we caught a shuttle to the airport and went to check on our luggage, hoping it had come in.

We found the American Airlines ticket desk and were helped by several young men, Jeremy, Martin, and Chris, who all worked to see if our luggage was there.  It wasn’t.  They, too, assured us it would be found and said it would probably go on to Montgomery. Their cheerful attitudes and helpfulness, jokes and attempts to help us have a better day did just that even though we still felt defeated by no luggage.  We asked about transport to a Cracker Barrel Restaurant just south of Birmingham and was told it would cost about $80 by taxi, but then something truly nice happened…and we were given a ride at no charge to the Cracker Barrel!  What a huge blessing that was!  It was now about one p.m. on the 26th.

We were tired from travel, Hannah’s knee was aching, we were frustrated at having lost “vacation” time to travel delays, worried about the extra costs caused by the delays and lost luggage that couldn’t be tracked, and we hadn’t eaten since 4 p.m. the day before.  Breakfast sounded wonderful!

Our Cracker Barrel server was Ally, a charming young lady who deserves the Cracker Barrel Server of the Year Award for her courtesy, promptness, and ability to make her customers feel pretty dog-gone special.  It wasn’t just Hannah and I who were treated so well; we noticed all of Ally’s customers were treated with the same warmth and Southern hospitality.  Ally rocked!

We stopped by Montgomery airport to see if our luggage had arrived and it had!  The ladies who brought it out to us were beaming right along with us!

After arriving to our final destination, Dothan, we thought our travel worries were behind us.  Not so.  On December 31st, five minutes from the Montgomery airport where we would leave to head home, we were rear ended while waiting at a stop light by a Mercedes going full speed.  The gentleman who hit us apologized profusely and said he was watching the state trooper with blue flashing lights on the side of road beside a pulled over semi.  The ensuing accident paperwork involved a state trooper, Officer Scott, a patrolman, Officer Ross, who earned my undying gratitude by taking pity on me and giving me a ride to the McDonald’s ladies room across the street, and an accident investigator, Officer Lamb, and it all kept us from making our flight.  When we tried to re-book , Lisa in Montgomery helped us navigate the calls with Reservations but none could guarantee us a flight that would allow us to get to Phoenix on the 31st.  There was a flight to Dallas, but after that, it was going to be racing from desk to desk to see if we could get on an already overbooked flight to Phoenix.  Dreading the thought, I went to check in our luggage for the Montgomery to Dallas portion and a gentleman named Ron Davis pulled a rabbit out of his hat and booked us, guaranteed, on an 8:30 p.m. flight from Dallas to Phoenix!  We would have a 7 hour layover in Dallas, but we’d at least get home on the 31st!  How wonderful!  I told him we could just hug him and we did.

We arrived to our house with our kitties and dog waiting for us just before midnight.  Happy New Year!

The circumstances of this trip were bad…delays, gashed knee, torn jeans, lost luggage, cancellations, a dishonest taxi driver who will someday overcharge the wrong person, lost time with family, an accident, auto repairs for my mom and medical care for all of us.  The people of American Airlines however, with the exception of the one young man desk agent at Dallas who’s name was neatly hidden by a scarf, were great.  During the trying circumstances of it all, there were some memorable people who not only did their jobs well, but reached out to us.

Hannah said she wondered what God was up to with all this.  Circumstances may cause annoyance and frustration and put us in situations that are less than ideal and sometimes pretty bad, but it’s the people connection that makes the difference.  Maybe we need that reminder.  Whether its part of our normal day, an accidental meeting, or during the adventures of traveling, our encounters with people along the way make an impression.  Our smiling faces at the end of the journey are our thanks.  We endured some nuisances, but we’re safe and alive and grateful for this time God has given us and the people we met along the way.

Travel weary but thankful

Pieces

Pieces

Pieces

This is the tile on my kitchen backsplash, each piece of stone that shaped by different elements and events, tools, into little tiles, sized approximately the same, to be grouted together to form my backsplash. 

I love that backsplash.  I love looking at all the different squares, touching them, seeing the many colors throughout each tile, feeling the ridges and smoothness and sharpness, seeing how the light plays over each one different, noticing that some edges are pretty squared while others seem chipped or broken or rounded.  There are cracks and pocks, veins of color and what appears to be different types of rock within, spots and freckles and discolorations that add character, create a story of sorts. 

The pieces that make up this backsplash make me think of how God is with us when we’re in pieces, holding us together, shaping us, using the broken parts,  making something new out of the pieces that are us because of life.  Sometimes its the life choices we make that shatter us, sometimes its the circumstances that are not of our choosing, and sometimes its people, relationships, paths, words, labels, the past. And when we’re in those pieces that have been shaped by life’s storms, we just feel pretty ugly, useless, worthless, purposeless, and hopeless.  But God has other plans.  He can take the pieces and make them into something of beauty, value, worth, meaning, and hope. 

I just love that. 

And I’m waiting for that. 

I know that someday the beauty will shine through.  I know that someday there will value in the lessons learned.  Someday there will be worth in the trials and meaning in the pain.  And always, there is hope.  Hope for better, no matter where I am. 

We can all see how certain pieces of our lives shape us and leave marks, ridges, indentations, cracks, and busted corners.  I can’t wait to see what God does with it all, how he will take it all and make something amazing.  And I trust that he will do that.  In his time.  In his way.  In his will. 

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God.” –Rom. 8:28

 

 

When the Lights are Low

When the Lights are Low, Patti Wade Zint

When the Lights are Low

As I was messing with the dimmer switch to get the lights at just the right level I wanted – not too bright and yet not as if they are almost off – I noticed the intensity of light through the globes revealed more or less of the actual bulb.  Okay, I’m not an electrician or scientist so I’m probably not putting it properly, but the brighter the light thrown from the bulbs, the less I could actually see the bulbs.  And that made me think of something in the crazy way things like that make me think…when the lights are low, I can better see them. 

Hmm.  

Bright is a word we use when we’re happy, when things seem to be going our way, when we’re expecting something wonderful or when we’ve done something pretty clever.  I think most of us associate brightness with positive and uplifting moments in our life.  Its spotlight time and it highlights those things that make us laugh and grin and sing and do the happy dance.  We praise God for these bright times!

Low is a word we think of relating to when we are sad, blue, depressed, broke, lonely, etc.  We say we are feeling low and the message it carries tells the listener that something is bothering us, something is wrong, something hurts.  Many times we cry, or choke back the tears when we’re low, try to hide that feeling from others.  People want happy people around them…not frowny, sad faces.  But low denotes sadness, sorrow, hurt, pain. And when I’m lowest, my heart hungers for and actively seeks God. 

We all have raw feelings.  We all hurt and cry whether we admit it or not.  We all have prayers that aren’t answered in the way we want them to be answered, and we have dreams that have been shattered.  We’ve all felt the brokenness, the despondency, and the ache that takes up residence when something happens that takes everything we’ve known and loved and turned it ugly.  We know pain.  We know sorrow.   We know what its like to cry ourselves to sleep at night.  

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8 

I’ve tried to imagine those bottles; I think mine is the size of Texas.  I wonder sometimes why God wants to keep those tears.  Is it because when I’m low he’s with me, because I’m broken and he works through me then?  Is it because he cares so much that every tear matters?  I can’t stand when someone cries; it hurts me seeing someone’s pain.  I want their tears to go away; I certainly don’t want to keep them.  But God does and because of that, they must be precious to him in a way I can’t yet understand.   

There’s another promise I hold onto, and that is that the dimness won’t last. I know I’m not the only person feeling low right now; I know so many who are hurting, and the holidays are especially hard.  I remind myself that I won’t stay here…that what I feel now will change later.  Today a friend shared her own story and how she couldn’t see “later” during her lowest time, but she did seek God and found something more amazing than she’d ever dreamed. It’s her “later” now and she glows with happiness. 

Though the lights are low, if I look for Him, God will provide the healing and in time I’ll shine.   

Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.  Isaiah 58:8

Seeds or Stones?

Sunflowers

Sunflowers

Jill’s new neighbor had the most glorious sunflowers growing so tall that she could see them over the fence.  When her neighbor caught her peeping, Jill blushed and said she wished she could grow sunflowers. 

“I’ll give you some seeds,” her neighbor said.  “Water and they’ll grow!”

The next day Jill found a tiny plastic bag that had been stapled shut lying on her walkway leading to the door.  She went right into her backyard garden area and planted each pebble-like seed about a foot apart and generously watered it.  She watered and weeded the area every day but after two weeks there was still no sign of anything growing except the occasional weed.  She added plant food and nutrients but a week more passed and still nothing. 

At the end of the next week she ran into her neighbor as they were both leaving home. 

“Oh, my, I’m so sorry!  Just a minute…,” said her neighbor and a moment later she came running from her house with a small cup and gave it to Jill.  “Here’s the seeds I promised.  I’m sorry I forgot to bring them sooner.”

When her neighbor left Jill ran back into her own house and grabbed the tiny bag with the seeds she had planted, the ones that looked like gravel.  She realized she had planted these tiny stones, the kind businesses use to weigh down the business card they staple to the bag.  She assumed they were the seeds.  No wonder nothing grew!

We’ve all been a bit silly at times, and we’ve all been impatient to see something happen, see something grow, or see something we’ve started come to fruition. 

My prayer in blogging is twofold:  plant seeds to grow faith in God by writing and writing to earn my living.  To avoid dropping stones that won’t sprout – I know I’m a wordy bird writer – I’m cutting back the blogs to twice a week for now.  Any feedback is greatly appreciated and I thank you all for your support! 

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 (ESV)

 

The Blessings of Other Women

The Blessings of Other Women

Blessed by Other Women

Found a blog by a young woman named Emily, here’s the link (http://primitiveroads.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/titus/) and it’s about older women discipling the younger women.  Made me think about the blessings of Christian women, old and young, in my life during for all of life or just for seasons.   

I recall vividly one of my grandmothers doing her daily Bible reading every night before going to bed.  She was the one who would hold the hand of my sister and I when we stayed with them and pray with us before bed.  The most compelling imprint of her faith upon my life, however, is that while undergoing the horrors of rape she witnessed and gave her testimony to the man committing these atrocities while protecting my sister and I from his evil intentions.  From that I’ve realized that no matter what happens in our lives, God will give us the strength to endure it.  She believed that and because she did, I do, too.  And so did my sister.   She’s with my sister now in Heaven…and so many more of our loved ones are gathered with them.

My other grandmother taught me the joy of enjoying people!  Despite whatever was going on she seemed to find the bright side, to find the joy, to find something happy and share it.  She welcomed everyone, didn’t worry if her house was clean or dirty, didn’t worry if we tracked dirt or mud inside, just loved people for people.  Her house was always filled with those who felt comfortable enough to just drop by, knowing they would be welcome, knowing they receive a smile and kind word.  Her faith was lived in loving people, all people, no distinctions, and tolerating whatever was thrown at her with a gentle, pleasing spirit.  Her smile crinkled the corners of her eyes and I imagine that’s the look I’ll see on her face in Heaven, pure joy!

A pastor’s wife who smiled through a most difficult time in her family’s life helped me see that even if we didn’t know why something happened, we could trust that God did.  Such a hard concept when we want explanations and to understand the whys of the heartbreaks of life.  She taught me that we may not know the answer in this lifetime and it was okay to hurt, okay to question, okay to cry, and okay to feel all the feelings that go with heartbreak because Jesus knew them, too, and because  he created us with those feelings and emotions and it was certainly okay to have them.  The difference for those of us who love the Lord is not letting those feelings and emotions keep us from going forward and accepting that somehow beyond our comprehension, God was working.  I think of her standing before the Lord someday and hearing, “well done, good and faithful servant, well done!” and I see the shining smile that is always there grow even bigger! 

One lovely woman who led a Bible study always spoke our names aloud in prayer and thanked God for the day we were born!  I cried the first time she said my name aloud and thanked God for blessing others with my birth.  One woman was especially affected because her own mother had always cursed the day she was born, saying that her daughter’s birth ruined her life.  What a blessing for her to hear the truth!  The impact of hearing this strengthened my identity in Christ and did so for many others in that Bible study group.  Her heart for other women oozes from her every fiber and God certainly has special rewards for this most beautiful woman!

The gift of service was given to me by a younger woman who did not have children when I had my hands full with three!   Her beautiful sacrifice of free time to come and help me when there was no reason whatsoever she had to do so helped me understand what it meant to have a servant’s heart.  To give and expect nothing in return.   It’s almost twenty years later now and I see this woman still giving her time sacrificially despite her busyness with her own huge family.  I think God has a zillion crowns for her when I think of all those she has blessed with being physically being there.

My sister’s acceptance of her own body’s fragility and how she prepared to go be with the Lord even though she wanted desperately to live to see her son grown taught me about submission and grace.  Submission to God’s will, to his plan, to his purpose.   Grace in accepting that there are some things we cannot change, but we can walk through them in holiness with God’s grace.  Her fearlessness and courage through dying touched many, many lives.  Her faith soared in the last year of her life, reaching and teaching and living in humility and at God’s mercy moment by moment.   How I miss my “snisser”…and how I long to be with her, dancing with Jesus.  One of my delights is how like her my daughter is (how did that happen?)! 

A dear friend who seemed to have the perfect life struggled with how others viewed her.  The jealousies and gossip and criticism that came her way as a public figure could have crushed her spirit.  At times she was so low she could do nothing but weep, wondering why people had to be so mean, why other women had to be so hateful toward another woman.  One day she told me she realized that every person who hurt her needed something she could give and she began giving it, generously.  She found in each woman who sniped at her something to praise, something to encourage, something to point out as their own gift.  Once she said she had to think very hard to discover what she could praise in one woman who seemed bent on always being negative.  Ephesians 4:25 seemed to resonate:  Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.  My friend cringed but asked the woman why she felt she had to find the bad and speak it about everyone.  The woman burst into tears and told her she’d been told her whole life how horrible she was and told she was told these things “for her own good”.  That was her way of showing love!  My dear friend helped this woman learn who God said she was and the difference once she got it was amazing!  She will see this other woman in Heaven and I can just imagine how they will praise Him together.

Another woman taught me to wait, to be still and listen to God.  She did this from a distance because she is not a close friend but I watched her go through trials from afar, praying for her as one of my church family members.   She would share how she would have no words for prayer but would just lay face down and ask the Lord to fill her.  With what, I’d ask?  “With Him,” she’d answer.  What a concept!  I started digging into understanding the character of God and listening for him, asking him to fill me, too.   I know God will reward her gentle, quiet spirit that showed others how he works in those who trust him.

My own daughter blesses me as I watch her grow in the Lord, as I watch her character change and shape as a Christian young lady.  I am fascinated by her mind, her actions, her compassion, and her desire to make a difference in the lives of others.  She loves children, has worked in children’s ministry for the past couple of years, and to see how God lays his plans and purposes on her heart melts mine.  “Oh, how He loves me, oh…” she sang as we were in the car, listening to Christian radio.  What a privilege to see, know, hear, and feel this in her life!   A greater  privilege to know we will spend eternity together in Heaven someday!

There aren’t enough words for the blessings of a mother’s love, for the ups and downs that mothers and daughters experience, for the agreements and disagreements, for the range of emotions, and for the joys and disappointments that come with that relationship.  What’s most important is through them all, God is there, we are there, and we know that nothing changes the love, nothing can come close to breaking the bond that exists between us no matter how difficult things may be at times, no matter how heated, no matter how misunderstood, no matter what.  It’s a true blessing to have that unconditional, steadfast love of a mother.   We may not always be on the same page, and our paragraphs may get a little mucked up, but we’re bound together in the same book for all of life here and all of life in eternity with Jesus…and that is a most wonderful blessing that I wish every daughter could have with her mother as I have with mine.     

God gives us each other for a reason, for a season, for a lifetime, and forever after.  Our part is to open our hearts to the blessings found in other Christian women and receive their gift in our lives.

Waiting…Somewhat Patiently

Thursday 10/11/2012

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.

~ Psalm 37:7, NLT

Are you ever restless?  Anxious?  Antsy?  There’s something occupying your thoughts and though you suppress it and go through your day doing the things that have to be done like going to work and functioning effectively, it sits there, heavily, in your heart and mind.  If you’re like me, you pray and give it to the Lord, but that doesn’t mean it goes out of your thoughts.  If you’re like me, your day is filled with prayers about whatever it is that’s in your heart and mind.  You’re trusting God, but you’re still thinking about it, still worrying a bit, and so you keep on praying because that’s what God says to do. 

It had been over a week and I hadn’t heard from him but he said he’d try to call every week, and I’m a bit OCD so I expect a call when someone says they will call.  Even though I know it might not be possible.  But that call, that voice, is so important to me and I need to hear it.  I mentioned to my daughter that it had me fidgety and she reminded me that sometimes no news is good news and I needed to trust God.  Boom – right smack in the middle of the head by my own child!  I am so blessed!  Of course, of course! 

Still, throughout the next few days I prayed.  I prayed for him to have God’s armor on, to be surrounded by the angels of the Lord to protect him and his unit.  I prayed for them to walk in the safety of God’s presence with them every step.  I prayed for the Lord to bind the enemy and deflect all harm.  And I prayed and prayed…just let me hear he’s okay.  And I also prayed…in your will, Lord, in your time, I know, I know.  Help me to feel it, Lord. 

Feelings are sometimes our worst enemy and Satan uses them to deflect our thoughts, our trust, and our faith in the One we call Lord.  We have so many of them from joy to grief to pain to worry to love to hate and a plethora in between. When our feelings override what we know, they can hijack our thoughts, our actions.   Sometimes it’s hard to separate feelings from truth, and when we are there, we have God’s word to help us do the sifting.  Of course, we read have to read our Bible to know what He says.  Sometimes people are sent our way to help us sort it out, sometimes it’s the words to a song, sometimes it’s a dream or thought that persists, and sometimes we seem to hear God’s voice loud and clear.  When feelings pull us further from Jesus, our response should be to consider the source of those feelings, and if those feelings are yanking us, we need to yank back, and run like crazy to God.   

My life verse, given to me years ago, is Psalm 37:7 and I learned it from the American King James version “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently upon Him…”  The NIV version says “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him…”  I have to remind myself of this over and over and over in my life.  And each time I do, I move closer to the Lord, and grow stronger in His strength.

I went to bed praying, literally speaking God’s word in my prayer, reciting Scripture, His promises, and while doing this I fell asleep.  I had charged my phone earlier and had it beside my pillow, just in case.  I didn’t want to miss that call if it came. 

I awakened to my phone chirping and saw that an email had come from K-LOVE’s Encouraging Word to which I subscribe for a daily Bible verse.  When I opened it and saw Psalm 37:7, I laughed out loud.  Okay, God, I get it!  You’ve got this…I’ll rest, I’ll wait, I’ll be patient, even it makes me crazy!   And because I was taking the day off, I slept well past my usual get up time, something rare for me.

So many times that verse, God’s promise, has been my stronghold.  It was especially so when I was trying to have babies and had given up and then it happened.  It was there through teenage boy issues that required more of us than we had, but God provided the other part.  It was there through job losses, when starting a new business that flourished in a recession.  It was there when we were looking for a house, the right house at the right price in the right area and we were led to this one.  It was there through buying, not renting, a privately owned U-haul truck one year and then selling it at the end for more than I’d bought it.  It was there when we had more needs than means, yet the provision came at just the right time.  It was there when my personal pain became beyond bearing yet I clearly heard “Be still”.  How can I not trust the God who has been with me, carried me, held me, and provided for me through so many different things in my life?   

When I woke up, it was the first thing on my mind and I checked my email to be certain I had read the daily verse correctly and hadn’t just thought it.  It was there.  I went about my day a little lighter.  I thanked God for the reminder. When I told my daughter about it, she hugged me and said, “Way to go, God!”

I got the call I’d been longing for shortly after and heard my son’s voice.  I love that voice with every fiber of my being and am so thankful for hearing it today.  Thank you, Lord! 

Lord, help me to rest, help me to be patient, help me to wait and trust that in your time and your way, you always answer.